Sweet Carol Line: What Is Mindset About and Why Does It Matter?

Cue the music... "Sweet Caroline... ba ba baaaa... good times never seemed so good." Except when they don’t. And that’s where mindset matters.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or putting on a fake smile (although sometimes that’s what feels easiest). It’s about the inner conversation that shapes how we meet reality—especially the kind that punches you in the gut and then kicks you for good measure.

When I was little I used to believe that if I smiled for long enough I could make the sun come out. Now that I’m a grown up, and have an understanding of the universe, I’m guessing that’s probably not one of the laws of quantum physics. However, it may be one of the laws of feeling better in yourself.

I am very grateful to the person who introduced me to Carol Dweck, I don’t mean personally although that would be brilliant, I'm talking about her theory on mindset. Google it. Now!

Think of the last crap day you had. Jeepers, you were over it! The more crap you felt, the more crap you felt, the more crap you felt, the more……you get it right? My kids know this theory in our family as the Vortex of Doom. The closer you get to the edge of negativity the more it sucks you in. The more it sucks you in, the stronger its hold over you becomes and therefore the harder it is to get out.

Yes, everyone feels crap sometimes and I’ve had some doozy moments of doubt throughout my life well before cancer even came along - tears and swears.

But here’s the thing: mindset isn’t about denying pain. It’s about deciding what meaning you’ll make of it.

It’s the compass you set in the middle of chaos.

There were days when I couldn’t eat, couldn’t walk, couldn’t think straight. There were nights when fear crept in like a fog. But mindset gave me something to reach for—a framework to fall back on.

It’s the difference between "Why is this happening to me or what did I do to deserve this?" and "What can I do with this?"

Some days, it meant laughing at the absurdity of it all. Other days, it meant cursing out loud and letting that be okay. It meant reframing setbacks as detours, not dead ends. It meant choosing, again and again, to believe that I wasn’t just enduring—I was living.

Mindset doesn’t cure cancer. But it absolutely changes the experience of it. It turns fear into curiosity, pain into purpose, waiting into presence.

So yes, mindset matters. Not because it’s magical, but because it’s powerful.

And when the good times do come—ba ba baaaa—they’re all the sweeter for the journey that got you there.

P.S. #1: People often expect bucketloads of tears with a cancer diagnosis. But honestly? I find crying more exhausting than cathartic. You do you.

P.S. #2: If you google cancer and positivity you just might find some scientific evidence that suggests a beneficial relationship between the two.

P.S. #3: I’ve taken up emailing people I don’t even know to say “Nice work - you’re awesome” when I read about the amazing things that are happening in our communities. Post Covid I think the world has got a bit grumpy and I worry that we might be forgetting to say “Thanks, well done, I’m grateful for your work” to the people who remain stoic in their efforts to make a difference for us all.